Week 21: Silent Flower Ritual

Welcome to week 21 of our "52 traditions/rituals in 52 weeks".

The silent flower ritual is one of the simplest and most basic rituals that may be included in a wedding ceremony, but it’s significance and emotional depth are long remembered.

The silent flower ritual brings significance to the roles of the mothers on this special day, that may otherwise go unspoken and to all that they have contributed in the lives of the couple present. In nurturing, loving and caring for each of them and in being there to share this special day with them.

Once the guests are assembled and the groom and celebrant are waiting for the bride, the entrance music begins and the bride enters carrying her bouquet with 2 loose long stem flowers. As she approaches her groom on her father’s (or whoever is escorting her) arm, she lets go of him and walks silently over to her soon to be mother in law and hands her one of the flowers, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She then walks over to her own mother handing her a flower also and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

No words are said during the ritual and the bride then returns to her escort’s arm and continues to her groom.

The ritual, though silent, is very meaningful and brings a tear to the eyes of guests and of course the mothers.  It is a truly wonderful way of honouring the mothers role in the lives of the couple and their importance on this day. The mothers are always very pleased, particularly when they are not aware that it is going to take place.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

For other ways to include your mums please see our post "What about the Mothers?"

Marriage & the step parent dilemma

The society in which we live today is filled with wonderful blended families that come in all shapes and sizes.  We're not just talking about couples coming together from different cultural backgrounds, but also couples coming together, each with children of their own. (How could we forget The Brady Bunch - if only it was that easy). So many of the couples I see as a celebrant have families like this.

The joining of two families can be a really wonderful experience, but it would be remiss not to mention the fact that it can also be exceptionally difficult and fraught with potential disasters, particularly when combined with the stress of planning a wedding. Step parenting is never easy and we all know very well that planning a wedding can be overwhelming, even for the calmest of couples, but combining the two can see some couples in total despair.


To any of you who have successfully brought two families together while planning and executing an amazig wedding, we commend you. You truly deserve a round of applause.

BUT, for those of you (and I'm sure there are many) who are currently struggling with a suddenly much larger family, while trying to plan your big day and include children and step children, then we symapthise and are here to help.

In working with many couples in this situation I have put together a few ideas I wanted to share with you that may hopefully help you in finding ways to include children and step children and ease the stress of  any family tension that may be lingering.

I have found that finding ways to include and unite the family on such a public level really helps to strengthen the bond and puts the focus on inclusion and unity rather than exclusion and individuality.

Here are some ideas to help:

1. If the children are old enough allow them to act as junior bridesmaids/groomsmen. Asking them to stand beside you earns them a level of importance and respect that you may find helps them to feel apart of it all.

2. If you are each coming to the marriage with a couple of children it may not be practical to have them as attendant in the ceremony. I once did a ceremony for a couple where they each had 3 children and so they bought each of them a gold letter (the childs first initial) and as part of the ceremony each child was asked to come forward as the step parent placed the necklace on and gave them a kiss. All  the guests were crying and the children were so proud and pleased it was beautiful.

3. Include a unity ritual in your ceremony. A great way of making children feel included is by having a unifying ritual. A sand ceremony is a great example (see our sand ceremony for an example) I perform many sand ceremonies with families which usually requires a vase of coloured sand each different and representing the particular family member, They each then pour their sand into the large vase so the colours layer beautiful and then the vas eis then sealed. The glass can be engraved with the wedidng details or an engraved plaque put on the front. Once on display in the home the significance of the once single colours of sand that can now never be seperated again from the others is a constant reminder of the families bond.

4. If they are not wanting or confident enough to take part in the ceremony then give them a job. Ushering guests, handing out rose petals or bubbles. This will allow them to have a purpose on the day.

We really hope this helps and if you are still stuck feel free to contact us and we will be happy to help with more ideas.

The Wedding Gurus
xxx

The Wedding of Carla and James

Welcome to the wedding of the gorgeous Carla and James.

In October 2009 James proposed to his beautiful girlfriend Carla on top of the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. 2 years later in November 2011 they said 'i do' amongst their family and friends in their hometown of Adelaide.

Carla Waye is a solo singer / songwriter (www.carlawaye.com) and has worked with renowned producers such as Darryl Anthony and Isreal who has produced for the likes of Jessica Mauboy, Stan Walker, Ricky Lee and Jay Sean. Carla comes from a very close Filipino family while James is from a proud Greek background, as you will see from the beautiful photo story to follow they were able to incorporate some of both their Filipino & Greek traditions throughout.

It has been a true pleasure for the team at the Wedding Gurus to bring this to you and we hope you enjoy the inspriring and breathtaking story of how their beautiful wedding day unfolded. The couple can’t speak highly enough of their fabulous photographer Jackie Tran who captured all the truly spectacular and memorable moments of the days events.

The sweet and classically simple flower girl dresses are from Tea Princess

 

Carla with her proud mum. The Jewelery including headpiece, custom brooch and earrings,

by Maria Elena Headpieces

 James with his handsome groomsmen and page boys

Carla's overwhelmingly beautiful wedding dress is by San Patrick purchased at

Anastasia Bridal Couture

The colourful & breathtakingly beautiful Church, St Dimitrios of Adelaide

In a traditional Greek wedding ceremony the bride and groom are crowned with a Stefana. 2 Crowns are linked together with a single length of ribbon symbolising the joining of two souls and the creation of a new household. It is a symbol of combining two people as one.

The stunning bridal procession of all white Jags courtesy of Jags With Grace

The Classic Jets Fighter Museum at Parafield Airport was the perfect location to capture these unique and timeless shots

The bridesmaid dresses were individually designed by each bridesmaid and crafted by

Adriana Loro Designs on Port Road, Adelaide

 

The elegant and intricately crafted 8 tier wedding cake was created by the talented team at

Sugar and Spice Cakes on Goodwood Road

The couple share their first dance at the spectacular Sunrise ballroom of
Sfera's Park Suites & Convention Centre, Adelaide

Carla Waye is an acclaimed singer / songwriter and amazed her guests with a beutiful vocal performance with the help of David Fitzgerald. Carla sang a medley of songs including 'make you feel my love', 'angel of mine', 'heaven' and 'even when im sleeping'

As part of James' Greek Background, his family and friends pin money and lucky charms on him as a sign of good luck and fortune for the couples lives together.

Carla performs a traditional Filipino dance 'Tinkiling'. The two parralel bamboo poles are hit together and raised into the air and back to the ground to the rythmn of the music, as this is done Carla hops over and around the them in a skillful graceful manner.

We saved the most magnificent awe-inspiring photo till last.

As Carla and James embark upon their future together, we wish them a marriage filled with blissful and everlasting love, laughter and happiness.

Blessings for an amazing and beautiful life

Last Saturday I (Susan) attended a beautiful church ceremony of some friends and in all of the weddings that I have attended or officiated, something happened to me for the first time.

I don’t know if it was because the bride was quite young or if her dark hair and features just stirred up something in me, but as she stood at the door of the church and all I could see of her was her dress, she paused for quite a while with her father waiting for her song to begin.

For the guests the pause created an atmosphere of anticipation and excitement and for me I had tears welling up in my eyes when for the first time I was propelled some years into the future and was imagining that this was my own beautiful dark haired daughter.

I thought of her standing there, so beautiful, full of love and looking forward to her amazing future and my heart just filled with emotion and pride. All of a sudden I couldn’t help wondering when I had stopped dreaming of me as the bride up there about to walk in to the ooohing and aaaahing of the crowd (even though I had already been one, do we ever stop dreaming of it?)

Yes, it was definite, I was getting old. No longer dreaming of those moments for myself, but now for my children. For a moment I will admit I felt a bit sad about that, but quickly realised that it was life’s natural and perfect progression that I’d had my turn and now was the opportunity to look forward to theirs. As she walked down the aisle, smile beaming and looking radiant, she held on tightly to her fathers arm. I looked to the front of the church to see her mother, who was looking back at the two of them and sobbing hopelessly! That would be me one day.

I know I have harped on about this before, but looking at her mum, I couldn’t help but hope that when it is my daughter’s turn to walk down that aisle, she asks me to walk her down too. Nothing would make me prouder than to stand beside her on her biggest day and walk her proudly to her groom. Kissing her cheek and giving her my blessings for an amazing and beautiful life.

Susan. xxx